there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize