I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize