I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
