You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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