i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Pooping to opera.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
