I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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