I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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