Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
