like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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