But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
