you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
