my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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