don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
