If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize