its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
