Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
