He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I checked into jail on foursquare
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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