Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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