I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
