I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
