Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize