Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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