You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I checked into jail on foursquare
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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