I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
