I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
