I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
