Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize