When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
