What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
