We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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