If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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