oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
