i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
wow bdsm is so cute
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
