I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
