last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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