He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
