I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
