I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
