I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
