I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
