Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize