I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
