you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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