Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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