At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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