sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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