i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
