Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize