apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
