I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
