there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
