if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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