The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
