Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
