Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
