Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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