i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
