the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize